Friday, August 19, 2011

holi crapoli

sorry, that's the only Italian I know.
It means "holy crap."
don't worry, not in a bad way. just in a "this week has been completely insane" way.
This week is almost over, and yes, I need a beer, plus a bottle of wine or five.

Adjusting!!! It's hard, but good. Deep down in my soul, I LOVE transition, because ultimately it means growth. My husband is overwhelmed and nervous about the semester to come, but also KNOWS he can do this and was meant to do this, and thus comes confidence in conquering this dream. Isn't that what life is about? Sure, it's hard and painful to challenge ourselves, but the sweat and tears lead to a deeper understanding of life, of relationships, of God, of what we're capable of. Adults... we can get to this acceptance point in our thought process.

MY biggest challenge at the moment is helping my daughter understand this, in a 7-year-old kind of way. Which is tough. So while Zach is being stretched academically, I'm being stretched (like a long, long rubber band) in my mothering. My sweet daughter is having a hard time. To be expected, of course. The hard part for me is the unpredictability of when exactly she'll explode (never imagined it would be in the aisle of a drug store) and what will set her off (???). Her personality is intense and deep, and she's hyper-aware of her surroundings and therefore extremely sensitive to any slight change in her life. GOOD qualities, I tell her. She is wonderfully and mysteriously made! We do need to learn different ways of coping with sadness and frustration and anger concerning our move. It's okay to feel these things, but not okay to rage and tantrum. Today, we've had a very good day. We're using some of our new coping skills and looking into new techniques. We're thankful for a new day!!!

I am, at times, disappointed in myself for not having ever-deep wells of patience and love. I'm prone getting angry if she doesn't calm down after a few warnings. I need to use different techniques myself, to help the whole situation. So, I'm learning too, adjusting, and hopefully growing into a BETTER mom. I need to improve every day. These kids deserve my best, and I fear I haven't been giving it to them. sigh. growth.

spending time in the evening light calms us all and relieves our fears...



Happy weekend everyone!
In other news, I may have just agreed to be Pete's soccer coach, even though I've never played soccer... stay tuned...


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