My birthday is next week, and so is our anniversary.
I'm creeping higher into my thirties.
I keep remembering that (I'm getting old) in between preparing food for three hungry mouths (plus 7, if you count my parents, sisters, husband, and myself), attempting to potty train the most stubborn three year old alive, and doing laundry.
I see a few gray hairs here and there, and day dream about living in Italy.
I stress over where my kids are going to school next year, when Sam will poop in the damn potty, and where the heck are we going to live after Zach is done with school?
I get a little panicky about my kids growing up. Will they be nice people? Will they be respectful of others? Will they work hard? Will they want to make a difference in the world? Will they remember what I want to teach them? Am I teaching them well? Am I teaching them enough?
Zach ran out of video time during Leah's dance recital, so we didn't get it on tape. I was sort of sad about this, and was telling my mom and her friend after the rehearsal. Her friend, Susan, whom I've known since I was little (and who's dumbass husband just left her after raising 4 kids together) just looked at me, smiled huge, and in her awesome southern accent said "honey, life is made up of tiny little moments that you never, ever catch on tape. That's what matters. That's what makes up your memories."
Just good ol' every day life. Ain't that the truth.
This week, as I ran one kid here, one kid there, the other over there, and myself here and there, I remembered how amazing my life is. I get to raise these kids. I love them more than I ever, ever, ever could have imagined. They are brilliant and beautiful and fun. I'm the luckiest mom!
Even better? I get to raise these little lights (lights who, without fail, also drive me nuts about a thousand times a day...) with my best friend.
This song made me cry the first time I saw it, because it's us. That is me, and that is Zach. We were so, so young when we started dating. And now we've been married for 9 years, next week. Every day is a challenge and miracle, and I can't imagine living life with anyone else, even if he stinks and thinks baseball is entertaining.
I love my life. this year has brought weird tumors and surgeries and getting into school and selling our house and a bajillion other things... all revealing mercy and grace.