Monday, March 7, 2011

my truth....

These words simply capture all that I feel about my job as a mom. I often struggle with my choices. Should I have gone for that huge degree? Should I have waited to have kids (not that I could have controlled that one, as I thought I could have)? Should I have... should I have... should I have....

But the truth is, I couldn't have. Motherhood picked me. And I needed it to. Because these things I've learned, and the way I've been refined, day in and day out, I owe to being a mother. Some people learn through other journeys, but this is the journey that chose me. I am challenged and exhausted, thoroughly wiped out, by the end of each day. But as life would have it? I couldn't have learned about reality, or have had my selfishness drowned out and erased, in any other way. This is my Doctorate program. Hopefully, someday, I'll graduate. But, I have a feeling it's a lifelong degree.

Here I sit, humbled by the PhD candidacy that is parenting. There is no university, no program, no book, no study that could teach me as much as I've learned in the last five years. About love. About life. About stories. About other people. About innate goodness. About the power of reaching out. About the danger of assuming that you understand a situation when you view it only from your perspective. About judgment. About forgiveness. About faith. About human nature.--Stacey from

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