change

I remember this moving thing well... I moved across the country when I was a few years older than leah is now. It's stressful! my poor babies are having a hard time with the reality of leaving our dear home soon. I'm doing my best to convince leah that all will be well, that we'll make our little temporary home grand, and this summer the best stuff will happen, when we move to our new place for daddy to start school. But for now, she's in the "resist change" phase... she is grieving. Lots of tears and anxiety, but also lots of cuddles and knowing that we, as a family, will remain the same no matter where we go.

Today is not yesterday: we ourselves change; how can our works and thoughts, if they are always to be the fittest, continue always the same? Change, indeed is painful; yet ever needful; and if memory have its force and worth, so also has hope.- Thomas Carlyle

We've had a crappy experience this weekend that tried to mute our good house news. It was a really hard thing that we had to unexpectedly go through, that made us question our decision in terms of where to move. After exploring more options, we feel much better about some little towns outside of the college town we were planning on moving to. College towns just aren't the best places for kids sometimes, so we're doing something else and Zach will drive a bit more, but we'll be happier and healthier as a whole family. We're settled and at peace with our decision and feeling much better about everything.

Of course we have the house inspection coming up before we can close. All of these changes, plus moving, then moving again, have me feeling like this (photo by Pete):

I make the strangest faces. It's a miracle I even have friends. Speaking of which, that's another point of anxiety for leah... and I remember feeling that way, too. What if all the kids at my new school hate me? What if I don't make new friends?

Sigh. Part of me feels extremely guilty that we're moving away from our wonderful community. But most of me realizes this is for the best... for the future... for the fulfillment of our dreams. Onward we go...