Thursday, September 27, 2012

SMILE!

Life is busy... life is good!

Leah has started piano lessons, and she's SO GOOD. natural talent!

My husband plays guitar and is teaching Pete. His hands are small but he's a smart boy and I know he'll pick it up!

Sam has the voice of an angel... and loves singing "call me maybe" loudly from the back of the car.

I have the coolest family. I love that we spur each other on to follow our dreams- my kids and Zach are so encouraging and really want me to apply to nursing school, which makes this whole thing seem so wonderful even in the midst of hard work.

Today is a good day. I have the ingredients to make banana bread AND pumpkin bread.

Celebrate the small things!

And thanks to a blog I enjoy (Girls Gone Child), Sam and I just got to listen to this delightful song, and now we're off to pick up the big kids.

Smile!!!

Thursday, September 20, 2012

September

This is the month I've always wanted to SPEED through. It always messes with me... always. I have a lot to enjoy, like my mom's birthday and my son's birthday... but, I'm always a little down regardless of the joyful events. I've heard others say that September is a bad month for people with depression. I'm not suffering from depression/anxiety currently- I certainly have, in the past, but a good combination of exercise/running (a lot) and sleep (not a lot, but at least enough) over the past 5 years have really kept it all in check for me.

Still, September is a weird time for me. Summer is over, the light begins to change, and we're all starting back into our routines (school, extracurriculars, work). In NC, it's still HOT. I think that's part of my problem. I so hate the heat. I really want it to be over, and it rarely breaks. Fall doesn't really arrive here until mid October, and I LONG for fall. I pray for cooler weather, less humidity, colorful leaves. September stands in the way of my fall arriving, and so I get cranky.

Also, it's a hard time for my son. I can tell every year. The worst trauma of his little life happened in September of his infancy. We weren't able to bring him home until the following Spring. But I can always tell that his spirit is more fearful, more fragile, and he physically wants to be much closer to me at all times. He needs to feel secure. So we do a lot of snuggling and I carry around my BIG 5 year old, whenever he wants me to. Because it's going to take many, MANY seasons of "do-overs" to ease the damage that was done to him. Over and over, I will show him that he is safe. That he is mine. That he belongs. That I will never, ever, abandon him.

Sigh. Come on September. It's time for you to hurry along.
This is the "anthem" that runs through my head as I plug through these long days...

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

remembering

In the midst of this crazy life, memories of 9/11 still sting the corners of my eyes and the depth of my heart. I forgot that it would become a history lesson. To those of us alive when it happened, and old enough to understand what was happening, we each have our recollection of what happened the very moment we found out that people were attacking other people. Why? We'll never really know. All I know is that both of my kids came home from school talking all about it. My 8 and 6 year old children. It was surreal. They told me all about what had happened. It was their history lesson.

They asked me how I felt on that day, and where I had been, and had I watched it all on TV? Yes, babies, I watched it on TV, next to a girl I didn't know, in our college campus coffee shop. I was shaking, but she was sobbing, because her uncle was on the 83rd floor.

"Mommy, why did those guys do it? My teacher said they were Muslims. What is "Muslim"? "

"Buddy, Muslims are a group of people who believe in something. You know how we call ourselves "Christians" because that's our religion? Their religion is very similar to ours. They use some different words and a different book to study, but they love God like we do. And they are good, good people. Every group of people has some bad guys in it. Every group. And so our job is to love others, to be kind to others, and to respect others, and really, that's the best way to help the bad guys to not be bad anymore. But some will stay bad, and they will do bad things, and sometimes, that's just the way the world is. So we just keep on living, and bringing light to the dark places, with our kindness."

"okay mom. That sounds like the best way, kind of like being nice to bullies and showing them that being mean doesn't work."

You got it, babies. That's exactly what it's like.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

So.

With this lack of posting, I'm going to lose the 2 readers I have left!!!

I'm still here, barely hangin' on... This class. This CLASS! Are you sick of me writing about THE CLASS??? It's the hardest class ever. EVVVEEERRRRRRRR. Okay I'm done. But it's sucking the life force out of me, plus every free second I have. Had my first practical on Tuesday and have my first exam next Tuesday. I'm not stressed or anything. Not at all. I just studied more than I ever have for anything and STILL didn't feel confident. Not stressful at all.

Onto happier things... this past weekend we got to see my brother for for the first time in more than a year! That was pure joy! He is my brother #2, kid #3 out of the 6 of us. He is a Captain in the Army and he and his fabulous wife Ginna are moving HOME! Well, to NC at least, which is way closer than Alaska :). They were house hunting near their new base and we got to celebrate their precious baby Caroline's 1st birthday!

CAKE! 

caaaaaake.

Sam talking politics with Shay and Tom. They all agree on leaning to the left a bit. (or they could have been talking about Power Rangers).

cousins! presents! 

Mimi and PopPop with their 9th (out of 10) great grandchild. That, my friends, is living! 

In other awesomeness, Sammy had his first day of pre-K today!!! He was SO READY. And he's SO HAPPY! I love how much he loves school.
Hi, I'm Sam, the perfect student. 
That's about it. We have another big day this week, possibly involving my BABY (pictured above) turning FIVE. WHAT THE HECK.

I'll be back soon!